Sunday, November 20, 2005

hangups are for losers

i talk to my mother a lot on the phone these days. i moved out of the house eight years ago along with my knocked up girlfriend, a life form which i was unaware of at the time. for the first seven years my mother and i didn't hold the close contact that now exists. it's incredibly comforting in times of near madness. maybe people call me a mama's boy behind my back, but i generally try to avoid those type of people especially if i'm in a heightened state of gonzo.
the most recent madness to speak of is the state i've somehow found myself in; both figuratively and literally. domestic man and wyoming. to speak of more solid things, this state in our american union. wyoming, goddamn it's pretty; be prettier if you killed all the settlers. there's a dichotomy here that reminds me of east and west berlin. east wyoming is run by summer homey type knitwits with deep pockets and suv's. they own everything and have built a settlement of quasi-community that rings of the union. then there's east wyoming, run by pseudo-cowboy lopers that tie homosexuals to fences and drive poorly made american trucks. this side guzzles the petrol even more profoundly because they own a great share of the oil rigs. a lot of their actions are likely affected by the lack of blood circulation below the belt of strangling wrangler jeans.
now i happen to live on the west end with a pretty, voracious woman in a kind little apartment on one end of town. i figure i got here from reading too many books and listening to too much music, since i seem to always prefer my influences to be sentimental, sadly romantic, and generally to the underdogs. if it seems unlikely but love is possible, i go for it like a sorry rosecruxion...
im currently in a state of terribly optimistic confusion; it makes me feel as if i should be currently worrying about some catastrophic event. when in truth, i sense no such thing and instead sit dumb wondering if my senses are being shot by domesticity. wondering if perhaps i need put an end to cute pet names and frequent calls home if i'm running late. this isn't the plight of a man prospecting his lost masculinity, rather it's a sobering look at soma.
and so now and again, perhaps following a short scuffle in the kitchen or forgetting to buy toilet paper, i call my mother.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Damn, dog, the paradoxical imbroglio of love and domesticity and socio-geographic commitment is indeed profound. Is that why I'm single? Maybe, but I don't know and don't really care about this point. We're both living manifestations of the highly enigmantic "Pinball Effect." Res Ipsa Loquitur.

Speaking of Wyoming, have you spotted my main man yet, the VEEP? The brother's walking with a cane now!