People in the Northwest talk a lot

For every one of us there's a conversation that can never be had. Not a finite ecumenical law for every subject on the planet, but a profound thought that every individual experiences uniquely for which they can't communicate. A certain gripping realization or theory for why we do any number of things, in any given situation. I don't know what mine is... i thought i knew a few weeks ago.

Recently i was visiting an old friend in Seattle, the city that looks nice but has never once roused a warm feeling or personal invitation to sojourn. It reminds me of something vacuous and hungry. What does it want i wonder? Anyway... we were talking late one night after dinner and i was invitedly experiencing one of my frequent neurotic episodes and wanted to share it with her. A quick personal defintion: psychotic~ everyone is crazy. neurotic~ i'm crazy. I often enjoy these feelings which are symptomatic of discovering my physical location. Think about it... 'i am here.' That thought procures the easiest access to a certain sensation. 'Wow, no shit, i am here.'

Depending on where exactly you're at, there's no telling how much you might trip out. I don't like the term 'to trip out.' It's impoverished and connotes in every negative direction. For theory sake, i've been thinking about creating my own word for my own defintion (like all those yahoos we use to read... remember?). I would like to call it objection. It's effectual placement of becoming present, and subsequent observation of yourself.

You know how it is, you see old friends, family and lovers and your insides can be muddled. You don't know what you're feeling or thinking, exactly, except the bold cognition that something strange is taking place. I love that feeling, i can learn so much about myself and my surroundings. Perhaps it has little true value, but it seems mentally productive.

I often assume that everyone has similar influences and tendencies. Therefore with the right words or in the right instance we can communicate a common, yet often unbreached idiosyncrasy. I was asking my friend about this in relation to my frequent objection in social circumstances. Does everyone trip out like i do while watching people, or conversing, or witnessing any number of commonplace events? She looked at me a long while and i was pretty convinced she was going to ask for further explanation about just what the fuck i was talking about. Instead she calmly answered 'No, i think it's more rare than that.' And she said it in a way, that at once denuded i was no unique specimen, but that it was okay. That got me thinking about that old rag 'I'm okay, you're okay' that was situated on my bookshelf somewhere between John Gray and Deepak Chopra, and i had to have a good laugh. Are you okay? Goddamn i hope so man....