not an alarmist

Only an alarmist would provoke such thoughts that enclosure may lead to claustrophobia. And as the roads turn icy and travel abroad the city perimeter becomes limited, i look inside these walls and wonder of the worry. What has caused these feelings to flee this den, when finally winter has come? There is truly nothing that determinedly pulls me, though the world itself is still enticing, and always will be. I fear more the road away; wayfaring has become too often a tactic for dealing with difficulty. But, to determine with certainty whether difficulty and hardship will beget the desired aim, or just be a waste of energy and time... that is truly a tough dilemna. Some may say, including myself at many points, that there is no waste of time with true effort. For the road itself is the lesson... and so once again my introspection proves voluminous confusion.
And so, i try to sit still and let positive attract positive~ in hopes that something will draw me. Meanwhile the snow falls incessantly and the debased roads struggle to hold my tires. Perhaps with the weight of all my things, my pressurized all season tires will convert to winter tires. Or perhaps if i filled my tires to 75 pounds of pressure such as Hunter Thompson did to his Las Vegas rental car, i could make a safer escape.
Have you ever looked at someone you love before and felt that it was yourself you were beholding? Or looked with such an aguish eye that you were certain to scare them? I catch myself studying my partner so intently as if a revelation could be met. Maybe i wish to say something that no words could convey. Though being a stout believer in communication, i often try and merely prove that misunderstanding is much simpler a task. I find myself waving about with my hands, feverishly gesturing such as politicians do. I prance and pantomime using poor prepositions such as Dean Moriarty in a fit of methamphetamines. "But, you don't understand man! It's like this...!"
Perhaps i should just stick to watching birds and identifying plants. It's so much simpler to foster a relationship with those perfectly evolved for the weather. I listen for nature's lesson: adapt or migrate.