Thursday, December 01, 2005

non-adherent resolution

December has come and with it flurries of snow and the loss of color upon the landscape. Work has continued, time has turned upon dial in a slow quiet way that can be counted on. And as Christmas nears and a new year comes, soon i expect to hear the bouts and series of resolutions break forth from the mouths of many. I for one, have reached no solid resolution, though at times such furious conclusions have been met. The one strong and standing: i need to leave this place. This thought is not fancy pessimism, or the notion that things may resolve themselves elsewhere, though that may be true. For wherever you are, there you are. And this i know to be true; and, i am not running from myself.
I believe that as one becomes more fluid and influenced by their surroundings, they subsequently struggle to make unflexing decisions. It has been a time of non-adherent resolution for me. Schizophrenic debating from day-to-day has once again left me in a state of anxiety~ as if my mug of coffee was too tall. This conundrum has been brought on by the universe's famous slinging of simultaneous possibilities. Perhaps humans must choose amongst many to feel firm in their resolve. In this respect, the mass of selective commodity one finds at the grocery store may be invisibly beneficial. Having to choose between four brands of the same product. And maybe once that selection is made, some instinctual calm and confidence sets in and we know irrefutably that our choice was prime.
The preponderance of decision faced has proven overwhelming and i begin to wonder how to even begin mulling. Is it true that a path is already laid for us and one only must follow the vaporous signs? Should one be weary of misstep or could that experience father the wise?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

Marcel Proust