Sojourn in Ixtlan...

I awoke the other night from a dream and found myself in yet another one, this time more real. For a moment my already binary existence became even more confusing. In the first dream i was gazing toward the wall lying on my side, my living room around me. And before my eyes, with all the willpower i could summon, formed the shape of an old friend. I studied her face in the light, she turned from side to side and cast shadows from the tip of her nose. I could make out the slightest freckles on her cheek and the sleepiness about her eyes.

I was amazed that i could recreate such an image, a virtual photograph now nearly interactive in its mechanics. I was proud that i had remembered her so well; perhaps her image now was even realer than her original form, i thought. I believe i stole that idea from a book i read in the past few years. That our eye is a camera, both still and moving.

And then she faded and i awoke into the second dream. I fumbled for a pen and lay as still as i could. I didn't want to wake fully cos i could feel these thoughts gently slipping and knew that only between realities would i remember and transcribe. So i wrote a sum of lines about her image, but i couldn't keep it cos i awoke yet again. And so i lay in bed, really this time and pulled my legs up toward me.

I felt a simple sadness of nearly attaining as the greyhound always stretching for the rabbit. It is strange how even as we sleep we stretch ourselves out and attempt to merge with something. And by the taste left in my mouth and nerves on edge, i can only wonder where my heart really lies.


an onerous sign on today's point reyes roadside...