Have you ever loved someone that you barely even liked? Oh... what a royal pain in the ass! I was burning some home-made tortillas in a skillet and had music on the shuffle. And somehow a song managed to make it to the play... and a feeling got me from nowhere. It was a song that once brought me thought of her. An old face, a young face... and how i loved her. But she was mad! She was a selfish brat! I thought about it, looking down from a second story toward the corner of Haight and Scott. A quick-stepped bald man hurrying about the corner barber shop turning out lights, readying for home. And the evening cold pushing down the street over our many-bodied hills.
Nursing a bottle of Wild Turkey and feeling better about it. Not really a sore thought in my body tonight, only the thought of why and how i could love such a person so fiercely. Those tremorous thoughts come once in a while, and sometimes i'll receive them. And it struck me that maybe, yeah maybe... it had nothing to do with her. What a thought! "Baby, i love you, but..." A real mother.
Since technically everything is in your head, maybe i should elaborate. Love is not something one could simply conjure at will, and that's a fact (i've tried to... i really have). But, every now and again it sneaks into the strangest episodes and nothing will fit for reasoning. It makes me fantasize of the door opening. That familiar face looking toward me. I'm on the couch with my sixth drink smiling... "I really love you. I don't know why. It has nothing to do with you. You are beautiful, but that's not it. I think if you completely changed it'd work out... Still, for what it's worth, regardless... i love you." Yeah. That's about the extent of it... the Devolution.
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