Melody is coming home again after a month trip out to New York, Los Angeles, Vegas, and now finally back to the Bay Area. I'm having a pre-drink before going out to meet the parents, trying to heed the words of today's spot on horoscope gadget on iGoogle (why the hell do I read this stuff?). Though it cracks me up, I find myself a little too interested at times, perhaps a little superstitious as well.
It's challenging to settle your nerves today because your current anxiety is coming from several different sources.....if you can be flexible enough about what is happening, you'll realize that you don't have to waste energy worrying about things you cannot control.
Hard not to be a little nervous, but I like that "things I cannot control" bit. Nice without the contraction too, more powerful. So I have a cocktail in my hand beading cold droplets and pushing repeat on the new Bon Iver record, which is absolutely phenomenal indulgent music perfect for saps like me. I'm midway through a five-day weekend...does that still count as a weekend? I work four tens Monday through Thursday, but Thursday was called off for rain and we're now moving this coming Monday's rainy forecast to next Friday, which leaves me with freedom, utter freedom. So far I've failed at sleeping in and succeeded at enormous breakfasts at home, a rarity since I work so early and prefer eating later on anyway.
I've been walking around town with my headphones on these past days, miles and miles, stopping in at coffee shops and creating errands to carry me across town with a little more purpose than not. I've been falling in love with life again. It's strange to think of it that way but I'm feeling patient these days and more suited to my surroundings than perhaps I deserve. Might be a mirage; god knows I'm a fucking fragile thing poorly paired with my compulsive behavior and headstrong action. Sometimes I can't even hang with myself. Still I raise this glass to the feeling and say I'd do it anyway and I'd do it again...
